Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
