I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
