Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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