I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
