he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
