she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
