I think scott just propositioned me for sex
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
