I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
