i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
