I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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