I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
