I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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