Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
where does the pee come out of this thing
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
false alarm, still single
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