I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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