what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
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