: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
