i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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