He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
