fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
