i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
