I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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