Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
