The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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