So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
