Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
