ya dads aren't the best wingmen
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
