now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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