Redeem this text for a blowjob
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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