Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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