remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
