we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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