They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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