thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
