farters have to be the big spoon...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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