i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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