Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
