She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
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