Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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