All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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