Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
