we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
a search helicopter?!
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
