It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
