i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
