Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
