she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
