...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
