Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
