His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
