Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
