dude i'm inner monologue high
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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